In love with you Had to be the dumbest thing That I could do You're about the lovliest That i could choose, you You're here with me Even though you're gone and I'm in NYC Have you in my thoughts as I sit silently, with you
I don't believe that it's not love I don't believe that we can fail this time I don't believe it's just a thrill I just believe that in the space and time I can't believe that it's not love I don't believe that we can fail this time I don't believe it's just a thrill I just believe that in the space and time distance kills
We read a lot Letters are the only things That we have got Funny how the words are how We form a thought of us
I don't believe that it's not love I don't believe that we can fail this time I don't believe it's just a thrill I just believe that in the space and time I can't believe that it's not love I don't believe that we can fail this time I don't believe it's just a thrill I just believe that in the space and time distance kills, distance kills, distance kills
Oh you know know how much I miss you Oh I wish that I could kiss you And the moment that I see you I will hold you for a lifetime[x5]
(Tell me, I'll be a patient guy Tell me that our love will not run dry Tell me that our love won't run dry Tell me, I'll be a patient guy Tell me that our love will not run dry Tell me that our love won't run dry)
His father smiles and glances back at him. 'I really don't want to have a heart-to-heart. Do you?'
'I'd rather not.'
'Well let's not then. Let's just say that I think the best thing you could do is try and live your life as if Emma were still here. Don't you think that would be best?'
'I don't know if I can.'
'Well you'll have to try.' He reaches for the remote control.
'What do you think I've been doing for the last ten years?'
-chapter twenty, One Day by David Nicholls.
The ever first romance novel I read because Anne Hathaway acted in the movie based on this novel.
I'm not actually in the correct mindset to blog right now. haha.. but when will it ever be the right time to do anything?I'm not drunk, haven't been for quite some time , and surprisingly I don't need the extra booze to encourage myself to write this down.Hopefully no one give a damn to read this or pray I wont regret the next morning, or few hours later. This place has always been where I documented most of the darkest time of mine, to ink it down here where I could transfer the darkest thought of mine and lock it up and never review it again. People blog so they can review what they had been through in the mere future, honestly, I never, ever read back what I had blogged down, call me a coward, but I take this place to pour out most of what I wish not to look back , or maybe trying to escape from it. Lock it up here, I said to myself , and there's no key to this chest. Exhaustion and uncertainties been clouding me ,things never happen as they are planned,
not in the great expedition of mine anyway. Morality and consciousness contradicts the hormones and sins that I sometimes find it's easier to let it flow den juggling through the confusing what's right what's wrong crap. I'm only fucking 22, as much as I wish to take up the responsibilities to act as my age, how should we act as our age anyway? So much philosophy crap of life that's trying to rub their way in.. sigh, I don't even know why I'm writing this . HAHA.
Right, back to the topic.. whats the topic? I haven't even have a title for this post, maybe I should just call it crap. LOL.. so why am I still writing this? I cant even write down half of what I actually wanna say. shit . Too much consequence to consider .. too much feelings of others that I should care about, how long have I been living in other's expectations instead of living for what I expect? Why am I talking to myself like this? Wait..it should be like this , blogging is like writing a diary , talking to yourself bullshiting the world on how fun how nice how good ur life is and making others feeling bad and envying the perfect life of urs. HA. wow this is a long full of crap post. Least it sends out a correct message that I'm definitely not in my best set of mind. Hopefully this is not a suicidal path to my social life, and who cares about social life when u know you got friends who's always there for u. Yea I have quite a few of those kind of friends, something I'm grateful for.
There's a purpose I wrote this, initially anyway, but then I calmed down and I think it's better I don't do something I will regret, but I got no one to talk to, or more precisely, no one I can tell this to. So I came here, but it will be like telling the world , ha, but I need a place to express this out, so maybe this will just be a post of meaningless letters after letters that only I will understand the hidden meaning, like the bubbles coming out of the mouth of the fish. Wha nice way of describing ! hahaha fuck me. CAN U STOP BEING SUCH A MYSTERY URE DRVING ME NUTS I CAN NEVER WORK OUT UR MIND! phew. much better.
Plugged in my earpiece , lights off, total darkness. Songs playing with a press of button.
Hollow. Embrace and enhance with the back to back sentimental songs in my lists. The emptiness I felt , once in a blue moon brings me rocking back and forth into those nights I had forgotten that makes me felt this way, yet remembering every single details how it occurred.
I'm abit of a self abusing kind, I enjoy the hollowness in me. Enjoy the wrenching feel that once torn me severely that I hardly recognize myself.
Turning sideway, a smirk escaped from my face. Realizing the reason I enjoy the hollowness of the past, is because it reflects how much warmth you had projected on me in the present.
It's like watching the night skyOr a beautiful sunriseWell there's so much they holdAnd just like them old starsI see that you've come so farTo be right where you areHow old is your soul? I won't give up on usEven if the skies get roughI'm giving you all my loveI'm still looking up And when you're needing your spaceTo do some navigatingI'll be here patiently waitingTo see what you find 'Cause even the stars they burnSome even fall to the earthWe've got a lot to learnGod knows we're worth itNo, i won't give up I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easilyI'm here to stay and make the difference that i can makeOur differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and giftsWe got yeah we got a lot at stakeAnd in the end, you're still my friend at least we didn't tendFor us to work we didn't break, we didn't burnWe had to learn, how to bend without the world caving inI had to learn what i got, and what i'm notAnd who i am I won't give up on usEven if the skies get roughI'm giving you all my loveI'm still looking upI'm still looking up I won't give up (No I'm not) on us (Giving up)God knows i'm tough (I am tough), he knows (I am loved)We got a lot (We're alive) to learn (We are loved)God knows we're worth it (And we're worth it) I won't give up on usEven if the skies get roughI'm giving you all my loveI'm still looking up.<3